Welcome to our new post here at Salty Milk simply called “America Is Passed Out.”

According to a 2010 Gallup poll, sixty-seven percent of U.S. adults drink alcohol. We’re here to document 100% of those choosing to get bombed and have their friends snap photos of them passed out.

It’s a badge of honor. Embrace it. Photograph it. Email it. Tweet it. Facebook it. Send your photos of America Is Passed Out and we’ll make you famous.

All of the following happened over the last 24 hours.

mail@saltymilk.com

Name: Denise Milani

Homeland: U.S.A.

Modeling Assignment: Western wear company? Who the hell knows and who the hell wants to take the time to track down such useless info?

Reason She’s Important: This is our second rodeo with Milani this week and the first one was Denise Milani vs. The Red Dress. We figured you guys would like to stick with the red theme, hence this post. Blah, blah, blah…you have already clicked on one of these photos.

Twitter: @Deniselifestyle

Welcome to our new post here at Salty Milk simply called “America Is Passed Out.”

According to a 2010 Gallup poll, sixty-seven percent of U.S. adults drink alcohol. We’re here to document 100% of those choosing to get bombed and have their friends snap photos of them passed out.

It’s a badge of honor. Embrace it. Photograph it. Email it. Tweet it. Facebook it. Send your photos of America Is Passed Out and we’ll make you famous.

All of the following happened over the last 24 hours.

mail@saltymilk.com

There’s this little event called Tiger Jam taking place in Vegas this weekend so I figured it was time to check in with some of the whores Tiger Woods used to treat to the best paid sex they ever had.

It just happens that Tiger’s huge charity benefit gets rolling and look who shows up on some Miami Beach – juggy Joslyn James & those fatty rolls.

Baby doll has like 30 seconds left in her 15 minutes of fame and you have to imagine that every time her photos show up Tiger’s dick runs for cover, like, “Fuck, I was hitting that?”

Yeah, you were and that shit is going to be haunting you for years to come. Sorry.

Name: Romina Suvari (brunette); Elena Suvari (blond); Sisters

Homeland: Romania

Modeling Assignment: We had seen this gallery floating around the Net over the last couple of weeks and instantly enamored but couldn’t find much on Romina Suvari – until today. What we’ve learned is that this shoot was featured on Romanian site, Bucatarescu. The translations are sketchy so hang with us.

Reason She’s Important: According to the translations, Romina was a handball player for CS Oltchim Râmnicu Vâlcea, which is like the Yankees of the Romanian Handball League. Only 23, Romina was also a rhythmic gymnast. The sister wasn’t an athlete, but, from the look of these photos, seems to have dabbled in handball over the years. We must hand it to the Romanians, they know how to get our attention with a sister photoshoot.

Twitter: (It was hard enough finding translations. No Twitter.)

Name: Denise Milani

Homeland: U.S.A.

Modeling Assignment: Some dude said “Hey, I got my camera, you’re in a red dress and the cleav is all sloppy. Let’s do a shoot!”

Reason She’s Important: Please, if you don’t know who Ms. Milani is at this point you are blind. What you might not know, however, is that she’s never fully unleashed those flotation devices. It’s still one of the world’s great mysteries as to why she doesn’t let ‘em breath.

Twitter: @Deniselifestyle

Name: Farrah Abraham

Homeland: Iowa

Modeling Assignment: Just your typical vacation shots from Miami Beach from late last week.

Reason She’s Important: Was one of the ‘stars’ from MTV’s Teen Mom series. Was known to get into confrontations with her mother. Decided to use some of her show earnings for implants. That was probably the best decision she could have made because it won’t be long before Playboy photographers want to see those puppies bust loose.

Twitter: @F1abraham

Name: Sandee Westgate

Homeland: Poland

Modeling Assignment: GQ Germany May 2011 issue

Reason She’s Important: Now in her 30s, this Pol has had a run on German television. Do we know much more than that? No. Are we researching her other work after seeing these armbra photos? Yes.

Twitter: Nope, not that we can find.

Name: Sandee Westgate

Homeland: U.S.A.

Modeling Assignment: Just your run-of-the-mill gallery to entice guys to drop $29.99 a month to look at the same chick over and over again.

Reason She’s Important: Sandee is known as the Playboy model turned bad since she went hardcore lesbo and pretty much stained her standing as a good Playboy girl. She’s been at this game since 1998 and is one of the last 90s Internet models still getting naked. That right there is probably worth a Wikipedia page.

Twitter: @sandeewestgate

Name: Christie Brinkley

Homeland: U.S.A

Modeling Assignment: Heading out over the weekend for a night of drinks at BWs and maybe some bowling with the girlfriends.

Reason She’s Important: Do you realize that Christie is 57? Even the knees are holding up at this old age. Something tells us the rack is holding up quite well, too, but will keep fingers crossed that this summer we get to see 3-time SI Swimsuit cover model don a bikini to really judge if the boobs are still 10s.

Twitter: Nope, she’s 57. Like she has time to give you 140-character tidbits about her life. That is so Kate Upton.